I was moved by the story of an attractive voluptuous woman on a recent TV show, who had such a negative and distorted perception of her own body, that she had not been intimate or even slept in the same bed with her husband for years. This was not because they did not love eachother anymore, but simply because she felt insecure and unhappy about her figure and did not wish her husband to see her naked.

He was not allowed to enter the bathroom when she was in the shower, her entire wardrobe consisted of black clothes hiding her beautiful curves and she was seriously considering undergoing breast-reduction surgery. It was later revealed that her breast size, when compared to other fuller breasted women, was at the smaller end of the scale, and there were many women with considerably larger breasts who were happy with their breasts.

When a number of women were asked in a survey if they kept the lights on or off in the bedroom, a shockingly high percentage (around 80%) of women preferred not to be seen naked by their men. They felt unattractive and were afraid of not matching up in their lovers eyes.

The truth is that most masculine men prefer women to be softer and feminine. My husband loves my feminine tummy and would hate a washboard stomach. Men are attracted to feminine energy and radiance in women, which is not depedent on body size or shape but how comfortable a woman feels in her body and how open she is to life and love.

Most men with a healthy masculine energy wish to be with a feminine women and are likely to deeply appreciate all the parts that most of us feel so critical about. For a long time I felt my thighs were too large, and it took over a year of my husband repeatedly admiring my legs for me to finally realize that he actually meant it. So many of us have so convinced ourself that we are flawed, that even if our men are appreciating us openly, if we let them SEE us in the first place,  we feel they are just being polite and do not really mean it.

In the case of the woman in the story, many men were shown a photo of her in her underwear and asked to comment on her body. Most of the men complemented her lovely breasts and attractive feminine shape.

A womans relationship to her body equals her relationship to her feminine essence. To be healthy as a woman it is absolutely vital to have a healthy and more loving relationship with our bodies. Yet so many of us are rejecting our bodies and the feminine to various degrees. The reasons for this are manifold and can range from childhood parental criticism, social conditioning and false media ideals, negative comments from an insecure or controlling ex-partner to sexual abuse.

By becoming aware that we have been telling ourselves many lies about our feminine attractiveness for far too long, and realising that we are all beautiful in our many bodily expressions of the divine feminine, we can learn to see our bodies with new eyes, can gradually shed fears and pain and learn to open our hearts and bodies to ourself and our lovers. 

The very men we used to be so afraid of disappointing will simply love to be given a chance to appreciate us fully. So next time, let's allow our lovers to marvel at our beautiful feminine bodies, light some candles or soft lights and fully step into the bedroom limelight!

With love and highest regards,

Susanne